Epiphany

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[On Love] – I guess I always knew, that what I needed was a home everywhere that I needed to roam. 

You could say, life is marked by each epiphany. I had one today; my strengths.

For a couple of months before the new year I was struggling heavily with the anxiety of not being strong enough. I had a sinking feeling in my gut, that I would be handed a challenge in life. One much more challenging than any other, and progressively i become anxious and terribly fearful that I would not be able to survive it with the grace that it required. That I couldn’t face this battle on my own; that I was not enough.

Only 3 weeks into 2017 and life really has its way of creating a whirlwind. I have been blessed to meet generous souls; with hearts so overflowing with their passion to create a better world. Being dealt with the challenges that they have, but overcoming those challenges and then seeing that as gifts to empower others who are desolate in their situation. On a more subtle end, the persons that I have crossed paths with, to remind me what I love and what I can’t.

And the epiphany came like one of those “when you know it you know it” kind of moments. In spite of all that was unfolding around me, there was this sense of calm that swept over me. A calmness that was firm and confident. I was not feeling scraped, raw nor fragile.

At the centre of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” – Lao Tzu.

We all have our own life paths. A path that meanders and intertwines with others. Challenges are crossroads, but all roads lead you to where you need to be. Everyone’s life path will be different, and some more than others. Some people call it God’s will, some believe that it was the universe’s conspiring. Or maybe even, the “Grand Scheme Of Things,” – whatever it is, life will unfold in the way it needs to.

While almost sounding close to the cause of my anxiety (lack of control/knowing); Our brain seems to need these contradictions to maintain its sanity. By accepting the fact that life will have its way no matter what, it was easier to accept that I needn’t be strong enough all the time. Instead, all I can do really, is to commit to the things I believe in, to constantly live life in the best way, and to give love where I can. To forgive people for being only human. And in accepting my vulnerability, I understood my strengths. I understood how I loved, and how I needed to be loved. I fell deeper in love with the connections I had with my family and friends.

 

As Lao Tzu once said, “life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

 

XX,

 

T.

 

 

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